Rose

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Dear Olive,


I'm feeling rather melancholic today, and the weather has obliged my mood, presenting us with a dreary, drizzly day. Perhaps today is a good day to tell you a bit about why your middle name is Rose. Rose is my Mums name and she was, hands down, The Best Mum. I was so lucky to have her. She was loving, supportive, intelligent, crazy, interesting, totally hilarious, a feminist. She was one of the quickest walkers I've ever known and she had the most amazing ability to laugh at herself (which was pretty lucky as she did a lot of silly things. My family will fondly remember how she used to muddle up the on-off record button up on the video camera every time she used it. Inadvertently failing to capture all our big events but recording a lot of the ground and muffled conversations about nothing when she thought the camera was off.) But the sadness I carry with me, is that we lost her. To cancer. Seven years ago. As I write it down, seven years looks like a long time, but it's not for something like this. Life has gone on even though she's not here, and my family slowly, slowly learnt to exist despite the big hole Mum left in our lives and hearts. After a while, that hole even started to close a little, and somehow the pain wasn't quite so sharp anymore. But since I had you, this has changed. The hole, that had gotten a little bit smaller, got bigger again. And started hurting. It hurts because my Mum will never get to meet you, have the pleasure of seeing you smile and won't ever get to simply wonder in the sheer amazement of you. She would have loved you so much. And I know she would be proud of me. A midwife told me when you were born that the way we hold our children is learned from the way our parents held us. So, perhaps there is a little bit of my Mums love being passed on to you through my arms. I like the idea of that.







10 comments:

Kate said...

Hi Kel, great post and I love the photos. Mere sparrow? Mia Farrow? x

Mel said...

That's a beautiful piece of writing Kel, really really beautiful. I'm beyond touched by it xx

Two Tuesdays said...

Beautiful. Beautiful words for a beautiful Mum. I love the thought that your arms wrapped around Olive are the spirit of those of your Mums.

Rachelle said...

As everybody else said Kel, beautiful - I'm really, really loving these posts xxx

Luna said...

Such a lovely moving post....and lovely that your mum's love will reach Olive through you.

dear olive said...

Thanks everyone. And yes, Kate you're right - I think this was on some sort of protest march at Uni and Mum dressed as Mia Farrow. I'm unsure as to why. (Dad? Hayes? Anika? Any enlightenment?) xx

lisa-marie said...

oh wow kel, i usually get a bit welled up when i read your blogs but this one has got my mascara running all down my face! so moving. those photos are awesome, god, your mum looks the best.
hope your okay xxxxx

amy said...

Kel, I love what you have written about your mum. I know that she would be watching you now proud as punch. Your mother sounds just like you.
Beautiful!!! xx

Kate North Ash said...

Kellie, you're breaking my heart. Love you to bits - Love Kate

Milbags said...

This is really beautiful writing Kel,
I love the new post about fathers day too - so beautiful xoxox
miss you

 

dear olive © All rights reserved · Theme by Blog Milk · Blogger