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Friday, September 30, 2011

Dear Olive,
I've been thinking about this letter for a while now. Todays topic is breastfeeding. We're still going with it, you and I - I'm a big believer in the benefits of ongoing breastfeeding. You love it, I love it, we're all happy. Except lately I'm finding it more and more draining. And a whisper of the w word is beginning to creep into my mind .... weaning. Maybe not even weaning completely, but just cutting back? Cutting back a lot? *Obviously* I'd love to say goodbye to the night feeds first and foremost (desperately). I've always demand fed you in the day and fed you back to sleep at night so I don't really know how to go about all of this. And I don't know if I've got the will power within me to truly carry it out. Especially as it feels like a bit of a selfish request on my part. Because it's really all about me being so bloody tired. And because I'd like someone else to be able to put you to sleep. And because I'd like to get drunk again.


You went to town during our photo shoot. (Speaking of which, Shirin's now got the whole shoot up on her blog if you want to take a look.)





13 comments:

Jade said...

I am in exactly the same boat as you Kellie. Check, demand feeding. Check, no sleep, and big check, exhausted. I too don't have it in be to change things yet, but I do know that you have to be absolutely ready when you want to go for it... Good luck with whatever you decide, and know you're not alone! Jade x

one claire day said...

Such beautiful, beautiful, beautiful photos. I'm all goosed up!

At only eight months in the times when I feed Lalie are the most precious to me. We just gaze into each others eyes, it's definitely the time I feel closest to Lalie.

But the key words are "eight months in". I can very much see this being my situation in a year or so... I too feed lalie back to sleep during the night (usually twice) ...and I can't imagine it would be easy to resettle her without the boob (I have to admit though, we haven't tried).

I don't think it's a selfish request - after all, Olive is almost two - you've done an amazing job to nourish her all this time! It must be hard though, letting go...

With your wedding coming up - there are going to be occasions where you will NEED to get drunk! And I'm not talking about the actual day, I'm talking about the meltdowns leading up to it ;) haha

P.S - love the little peek into your home, so lovely. Is that a little sunroom? Love the green dining chairs!

X

Lila said...

First of all can I say how awesome it is that you are not only still breastfeeding at nearly two but that you've also had it captured in those stunning photos! Have you tried giving Olive expressed milk in a sippy cup? If she'll take that you can have a break and also pump and dump if you have a stockpile ready and want a drink.

Greer said...

Kellie, how amazing that you've lasted this long! I don't think it's selfish at all to be wanting a break at this stage. I was well over it much, much earlier! Sometimes I think you've got to weigh up the benefits of one thing with the sacrifice - breastfeeding is amazing and beneficial, but so is a vibrant, energetic mum who gets enough sleep to really be present during the day and do all the stuff these toddlers want us to do. If you have to make tough decisions or 'selfish' choices to deal with your tiredness, Olive still wins 'cause she gets more of you in other ways. x

ayearabovetheshop said...

Hey kellie, isn't it nice to hear from all these lovely women around the world? Well done you. You'll find your way through with the feeding, Me and daughter no. 2 are still going strong at 18 months, just at bedtime (hers not mine) which helps with the old energy levels. Good luck plotting your path, Miriam x

fast times in m√ľnchen. said...

Selfish? No way dude. You've already given Olive two years of milky goodness. That's pretty amazing in my book. xx Love that first pic. Olive peeking at the camera and the adoring way Shane is looking at his lovely ladies. Plus some yellow Kartell action to boot. Bliss.

nicole said...

You've given Olive such an amazing start. Or as my mum would say, "she's had a good innings there". I remember getting weary of breastfeeding at 12 months. And my little one kept waking up *constantly* at night. So whilst breastfeeding back to sleep is a natural thing to do, it wasn't giving us good results. My husband and I hatched a plan with a lovely colleague of mine who specialises in this sort of thing. And I stopped breastfeeding to sleep and we started cuddling to sleep. It took us hours sometimes to get our little girl to sleep...but after a couple of weeks she embraced our new routine and went with it. And sleep - glorious sleep! - came with it. It's interesting that she soon grew distinterested in breastfeeding after this. Oh it was heartbreaking for me because I wasn't really ready to let go. But we still were able to connect through lovely cuddles. And you know...another little baby really wanted to come through...so it was meant to be. Goodluck with all your decisions. xo

kristi said...

that top photo is s-t-u-n-n-i-n-g. x.

Isa said...

Fe was 20 months when I "quit", and Sisi was 18 months. Each time because I was absolutely exhausted, all my energy sucked out, and we weren't sleeping the nights at all. And it just felt like it was time to move on to the next stage of motherhood. The weaning stage isn't an easy one. You have my sympathy. It took me 3 months altogether, I went the slow way, but still there were tears (mine and the little one's). It's exhausting... when you are already exhausted! Having said this, I feel wonderful, energetic again, I'm sleeping the nights, Sisi is sleeping through the nights (which 3 weeks ago still seemed like an out-of-reach fantastical dream), and it's all worth it in the end. When it's time, it's time. Good luck! x

Cassandra Allen said...

Gorgeous photos! So nice to see you in the shots, all three of you together actually. Weaning is HARD. We've recently started. But our little monkey has always been a super sleeper so it hasn't changed our nights at all. (crosses fingers)

Aimee said...

Kel, I have recently learned that other cultures the word 'weaning' means introducing solids. Perhaps somewhere it went hand in hand, I am not sure. But when I recently introduced Luka to solids alot of my British friends kept asking 'how is the weaning going?'. I figured it out after about the 4th inquiry, so I stopped being so forthright in my responses. I LOVE the pics by the way, esp the last one, what great little moments to have for you both. aimsx

mama bear said...

Hey Kellie, I feel so much the same as you. The one thing I can't imagine saying is Nope! No Boobie, sorry!

How do you do that?

And imagine when they wean themselves? When they say thanks, but no thanks! We'll be heartbroken, but maybe find solace in going out and getting drunk! xx

PS. I love all these photos you've posted. you guys look like such a gorgeous, happy family. x

tea with lucy said...

Gorgeous gorgeous people and photos. my boy is a big booby head too. all the time. he's obsessed. mostly i'm fine with it, but i'm starting to think about setting some boundaries. xoxo

 

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