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Monday, November 21, 2011

Dear Olive,
Peonies, are lovely. You hitting other kids, is not. It's wearing me out and you had me in tears at the library this morning. Hopefully it'll prove to be one of those phases and in another month or year I'll be reminded of it somehow and say Oh that's right, Olive went through something like that, I'd forgotten about it. Hopefully. 


17 comments:

one claire day said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
one claire day said...

You said it perfectly. It's just a phase. I recall Em saying she went through something like this with Zephie recently... I'm sure she'd have some great advice. Em??

Peonies are one of my faves. Beautiful! x

Nicole said...

I can almost smell those peonies...

I'm sure it'll pass. In 20 years you'll be reminiscing and giggling with Olive about this.

x

Anonymous said...

Please hang in there. My 3 year old girl is throwing the worst tantrums lately when we go out that I am fighting tears and wondering what on earth I am doing wrong. The smiles and little milestones all make the bad times fade into the back of your mind. Hold your head high and concentrate on making you and your child safe during those moments and forget about stares etc from other people. Love Georgia x p.s I have just stumbled upon your blog, it's beautiful.

Lizeylou said...

Trust me ... its a phase.
All kids do it at some point so try not to be too hard on yourself.
While it is awful it will pass I promise.
One of my kids was a pincher, one a hair puller and one a hitter - sound like a nice bunch don't they!!
I just used to warn parents when we would play that my child was going through a bit of a hair pulling faze so the parent was aware - and most of the time they would say - oh my kid did that or mine is a biter.
Hope you are ok x

Kristi said...

oh yes, "gentle hands, gentle hands." that was me a while back. it gets better. i promise.

mama bear said...

I've never left the library without my head hanging in shame. Even Chris gave it a go and failed. You're not alone. Rosie has been hitting for weeks now and recently moved from an open hand to a closed fist. She punched me square in the mouth today, as well as a little boy in the park. What can you do? We just walk her to a quiet place and say it's ok to be angry but not ok to hit. let's sit here and take deep breaths until you feel calm again. (but sometimes a stern NO will do). It's hard Kellie. I'm also over being whacked all day long.

xxx

fast times in münchen. said...

Oh Kellie. I haven't got a hitter but I have me a screamer. She yells at other kids, me, Oli, Dave. The other day we were in a lift, Elke loves pushing the buttons but so did the other girl sharing a ride down with us. I told Elke to share. She refused so I had to tear her away. She screamed at the girl like some kinda mad, old lady. Then continued to scream angrily over her shoulder at the poor girl walking In the opposite direction. For aaaaages. It's worst here as Germans don't like noise let alone yelling. I almost cry on a daily basis. BUT lucky for me she is our 2nd child and I know with experience that this will pass. It's just a blip. Olive is not a bad kid by any means Kellie. She's just in that difficult yet fun stage (18 months to 3 years...eek) and soon you'll forget she ever lay a finger on another kid. Not much you can do except what Anna said. Take a breather, tell her it's not ok and that she should apologise and give cuddles. Trust me, other mums love that shit! And just explain to the mum/dad that she's going through a phase. Good luck! xx

::The Beetle Shack:: said...

Yes, yes, yes. I feel this. deeply.

It' s SO hard when your darling little person is intentionally rough. Zephie is the same, it slowing down now about at around the 2 and 3 months he really tested those physical boundaries (he absolutely still does, just not EVERY day). We found saying 'hand are not for hitting' and directing him to something else he could do with those little fists worked okay. The best thing for us was saying ' we know you want to play with blah blah. so when you want to play yuou say 'what is your name' or 'can i play with you'.

I think this offered an explanation to him as to why he was hitting people, rather than the whole 'naughty' thing.

Thats my experience. I hope yours is short lived.

xo em

Unknown said...

not to belittle your experience at all, because it feels so big, but everyone here and most parents in general have been through or are going through something like what you're experiencing! And it's bloody awful isn't it? But, as the other lovely comments have said, it will pass, and there'll be other things that will make you forget all about the hitting... The tough thing I found was sticking to the limitations I'd set down, and be consistent. I'm sure it pays off, eventually...!

Louise said...

Ahhh, (my) Elke is doing this too. Definitely sick of being whacked in the face all day. I picked her up from childcare today and she started throwing toys, wiping everything off the low table with an arm swipe then hit the little girl behind her. Seems to be an excitement thing with her.
I usually say "no hitting" and saying 'gentle, gentle' and if I'm holding her she will most of the time give me a gentle pat. All these comments have been very helpful though, Elke is only 19 months so looks like we've got a bit of this to go too xx

Anonymous said...

Yup, I totally relate. I came across this the other day, and it helped-- http://www.positive-parents.org/2011/11/we-all-want-to-get-this-right-this.html

::The Beetle Shack:: said...

Thinking of you Kellie

xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Kair said...

I really needed to read this ... I am not alone!! :)

Malea said...

Been there done that & now i'm back there again!! Miss Scarlett is into pushing at the moment, we are trying to catch her before she does it by saying "we cuddle our friends". Hopefully this passes for you (and us) soon. Those peonies are gorgeous too by the way. Thanks for dropping by my blog x

Nicole said...

Kellie, I keep thinking about this post (I hope my original post wasn't too lighthearted...because I understand that it's simply not like that sometimes) For instance, Skye has a habit of headbutting when she's overexcited. And it seriously hurts and I can get surprisingly cranky and even teary. If parenting were all love and roses, it'd be so much easier! Disciplining gets in the way of a good time! And I too have to brace myself before our library adventures. x

PS. Toilet training...we are so far off that track it's not funny!

Salsa said...

Bas likes a good howl in order to express his displeasure. He'll give me a whack from time to time, but seems to be coming out of that phase, perhaps he's realising that it doesn't seem to get him what he wants.

 

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