The Key

Friday, August 3, 2012

Dear Olive,
A conversation, a month or so ago ...
O: Maybe if baby Vivi* turned into a real baby, she could be my baby and go in my tummy.
Me: Yeah maybe, but she's probably a bit big. Babies are really tiny when they go in your tummy.
O: How do they come out of there? Do you just get a key and open it up?
Me: Um, sort of ... (trailing off, a little stumped)
Shane: (piping up from the other room.) You use a penis key. To open up the vagina lock.
O: (outraged) It's not a penis key, Dad! It's a normal key!
You've since asked me again how does it come out, Mum, HOW. I decided to reply with the truth. It sounds funny, but you push it out your vagina, it's pretty hard actually. You thought for a minute, then said But, but, but it's head would be too big. Um, yeah. That's what I thought too. But it's true. Does one foot come out first and then you just pull it and the baby goes pop! and comes out?
Then yesterday, you told me you're growing a baby. Just like that. 
But, but, but, aren't you still meant to be my baby?

*Baby Vivi your doll. Who you named after your cousin baby Vivi.



PS You don't have a blue rash. You painted your chin at playgroup and I was too lazy to wash it off. Sorry.

22 comments:

Rin said...

Haha! It's not teen mom it's toddler mom.

alex sunday said...

gold. my partner will without doubt pipe up with equally unhelpful input when we get to these sorts of conversations. :)

Emma said...

Absolutely priceless. xx

Greer said...

I love how she asks how the baby gets out. Mine always asks how the baby gets in!!! Much trickier answer.

Louise said...

Hilarious, love.

Victoria said...

hahahh, the joys of those questions.

Claire @ Scissors Paper Rock said...

So inquisitive. I love it.
I've had to deal with the same questions recently. My daughter was 3 when our youngest was born last yr. She went around telling everyone at her Daycare that "Ryder came out of Mummy's bum!" I got all kinds of lovely looks when I picked her up that day :)
x
http://blog.scissorspaperrockdesigns.com.au/

Nell said...

Your two loves are both awesome. Shane is hilarious!!! X

Andrea @ little buckles said...

So funny. Love it. When Sam was 2 he saw my friend who was pregnant and was horrified as he thought she has eaten a baby! x

little sleep said...

Absolutely brilliant. This has just made my morning!
Jude x

Mum on the Run said...

Love it!
Such a cute baby bump!
:-) xx

candice.loves.red.wine said...

Ha ha, snort, ha... penis key

x C

Lerosso said...

Love it! Adorable Olive!

x

Col | Hello Olive said...

Penis key, ha ha! :-D

Lou said...

Oh my gosh, where do I even begin... She is just too hilarious. You both are. For the record "That's what I thought too", too.

And not washing off the blue playgroup rash - that would be me. Ugh, badge of honour I say!

one claire day said...

penis key... hilarious!

hmmm....Maybe I'll change the locks. HA! (kidding)

x

P.S - I owe you a gigantic email. Thinking of you often! xx

Tigerlilly Quinn said...

I love her cardi! x
http://www.tigerlillyquinn.blogspot.com

l'herbe est toujours plus verte said...

Hi Kellie & Olive!

I just loved this blog so much. What a cutie.

Miss you guys stax.

Love,
Jeanne xx

Laura said...

I just love this! x

Dressing Ivana said...

ohhh her face! she is like a real mommy

Conversation Pieces said...

This story is too cute!

Out of the mouths of babes as they say!!

marjee said...

Classic Shane comment... we too have had that conversation - the truth works best I reckon too. xo Hope you guys are well - crazy busy times huh?

 

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