twelve

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Dear Olive,
It is twelve years yesterday since my Mum died. It's a long time. It was before you or Clancy were born; before I met Shane; before I worked in film; before, in a sense, I really became an adult. A lifetime ago. And (sadly) most of the time it feels like a lifetime ago. But then there are other times, the memory will be so clear, the pain and love so sharp, that it could have been only days.

I don't know if I believe in an afterlife; I tend to think we're all just matter - us, nature, and the universe. One and the same. But on occasion, and only ever by the sea, the clouds have parted and the light has shone through, and I thought I could feel her with me.

8 comments:

Belinda said...

I am sending you much love. I have no doubt your mum is with you! My husband's mum died when he was 16, and he express just as you have. x

Jane S said...

This is raw Kellie & has made me think about my parents, who are both still alive. Thank you x

Kim said...

Hello, yes I know. My dad died in 2013. Very difficult, but I believe that he is with me sometimes too. Love doesn't die. I am sure your mum is with you by the beach. Xx

Luisa Esquire said...

Beautiful.

Nell said...

A beautiful post, Kellie. And I understand so much of what you're saying. I don't know what I would have done without your support and words over the last 12 months. Much love to you xxx

Lila Wolff said...

So much love to you, I can't even imagine how hard this is. xx

Birds&Words said...

So beautifully written. Made me shed a tear, even though I am so fortunate to still have both my parents very much part of my life.

Nikki Fisher said...

So heartfelt and beautifully written Kellie. You know I can unfortunately relate. 19 years this year since my mum died and that mix of feeling that you write about never changes in my experience, sometimes so close, sometimes so far away. Much love to you xx

 

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