Tomorrow, One Year Ago

Dear Olive,

Tomorrow, one year ago, is the day you were born. The memory is still vivid, exhilarating. The moment you came into our lives, we were changed forever. It was Thurs night and I started having contractions, which didn't lead to established labour but were enough to prevent your Dadda and I from getting any sleep. Your Dadda took the Friday off work and we went to visit our midwives. I was desperate to get you out, it was two days before your due date and I had debilitating sciatica and the looming deadline of my brothers wedding the following Saturday (away in Coffs Harbour), which I was determined to attend. The midwives assured us you were well on your way and we were sent home for some rest. Of course I couldn't rest for the excitement and sure enough, at around 4pm, the contractions started up again, this time for real. I knew things were starting to get serious that evening when I stopped being able to concentrate on the episode of Seinfeld we were watching. By about 11pm, I wanted to head up to hospital. My contractions were less than 3 minutes apart and my Mum had very short labours with all three of us and Anika had an extremely short (one and a half hours short!) labour with Roxy so I was ridiculously confident mine would be a super speedy delivery too. All didn't go exactly to plan. Not having a written birth plan was my first mistake. I got talked into letting our midwife break my waters when we got to the birth centre ("you'll rocket that baby out" was her assurance!), and during the night in my incredibly fatigued state (for some reason, I couldn't sit down, plus I'd been awake the entire night before), our midwife also talked me into having a shot of pethidine. Something that I will always regret accepting (and it didn't even allow me to rest the way she promised). After a long night with no progress, by morning we found ourselves being transferred from the calm environment in the birth centre to the sterile delivery ward and being put on the cyntocin drip to get things happening. I went from being 4cm dilated to having you out in less than two hours. Time seemed to stand still during this time. The contractions were crazy, almost scary, on the drip, but I stayed calm and focused. Our midwife told me I'm the only woman she's ever seen cracking jokes at full dilation. You were born at 9.48 the morning of Saturday 24th October. You weighed 3.76k, your head circumference was 35cm and you were 54cm long. You were a girl. Your name would be Olive. You were absolutely amazing and I cried through my laughter when I held you for the first time. I could not believe what I had done and that you were you, healthy and chubby and lovely. Dadda cuddled you while I got my stitches in. I was blown away with the confidence with which he held you, he was a natural. This was the first of so many things that would bring a tear of joy to my eye. A few hours later, Dadda collected up our belongings and walked us gingerly to the car. And we arrived home for the very first time as a family. We ate some dinner, marvelled over you some more and the three of us got into bed together and slept the entire night until morning. Dadda and I woke up before you, and we just could not believe our luck that we had you, beautiful you, sleeping in the bed between us. Even today, it's still the most amazing feeling. I never knew the love in my heart until there was you.

(These beautiful photos were taken by our lovely friend Prue, you were two days old.)