Man Down

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Dear Olive,
We learnt a big lesson this week. And that is, that whilst being a super fun Dad is excellent, wearing rings while showing off monkey bars skills, is not. And while the injury to Shane's finger is easy to see, the trauma you sustained seeing your Dad almost lose a digit (with it's fair share of blood), is harder to identify. You stayed extremely quiet on the drive to hospital, and in the hospital waiting room, and back at home. Eerily, uncharacteristically so. When I tried to get you to talk about how you felt by telling you how scary it was for me, you'd snap your head away, and pretend that I said nothing at all. For about a day, you seemed terrified of Shane, too. When he spoke to you, you would look only upon his bandaged hand. To poor Shane, this rejection-of-sorts was far worse a wound than the actual injury. After a day or so, came a landslide of tantrums and crying. 
Knowing it was a lot for you to process, we consulted our families personal child psychologist, your Aunty Sarah, who said that it sounded like you had been confronted with the (very frightening) realisation that your parents are not, in fact, immortal. She suggested we remind you that accidents happen and that when hurt, bodies are designed to heal. And she said we should validate that you must have felt scared and shaken, and tell you how normal your reaction was.
We're doing all that, and cuddling you through it, too.
(As for Shane, he will heal. It was a deep, nasty cut, and obviously extremely painful, but he was stitched back up and we're hopeful that a big scar will be the only permanent damage. He'll be off work for a while - and, unfortunately for me, off washing up duties, too. But rest assured, he did manage to buy a small condom-like device to go over his bandage so he can still enjoy a swim. It ain't all bad.)


Greer said...

Ouch! Poor all three of you!

Katrina@capturingmoments said...

oo crap that must have hurt! Pirates have scars so that part is pretty cool ;-) I hope sweet Olive is okay (and Shane of course).

Astred*designcherry said...

Holy crapola. Poor Shane! Poor you and Olive.
You are fortunate to have someone to consult about how to deal with approaching trauma. Sounds like you are all working well towards healing

Anonymous said...

Hello, This is the first time I've written a comment on your blog after following for a little while now - Dear Olive is quickly becoming one of my favourites!

Poor little Olive, and you two too. It sounds like quite a traumatic week for all involved. I wish Shane a speedy recovery.

I had a similar experience at age 3. Sitting around the dinner table, my dad started to puncture grapefruit forks into the ends of my corn on the cob only for one to miss and shoot across the back of his hand! blood covered my plate (and sweetcorn) and dinner was abandoned while mum dropped us kids with some neighbours to take dad to hospital. It must have made quite an impression on me as I do think about it each time I eat sweetcorn even now (I'm 31!) but it didn't put me off the stuff for life, so I must be OK! I'm sure Olive will be freaked out for a little while yet, but if she gets close to those monkey bars again and doesn't panic, then I guess you'll know she's on the mend! Poor thing, hope she's back to her normal little cheeky self soon.

Best wishes, Emily X

one claire day said...

yowzers! Sounds pretty traumatic, Kel.

But on a positive note, this is all important learning for little Olive... such is life I guess.

You're a wonderful Mum and I'm sure your explanations and conversations about the event will surely comfort her.

As for Shane, I trust he's feeling back to his normal self after seeing his towel-clad antics on instagram! ;) xx

Lila Wolff said...

You poor things! It's so nice to see how completely you are caring for Olive.
Hope Shane heals quickly!

Alex Sunday said...

oooh, that's quite full on for all of you. hopefully when duane heals so will olive. but what does this mean for the drums?!

flannery o'kafka said...

Oh dear, crying.

Hope you all have a quick recovery...and had a good laugh at the 'condom device.'

Love to you all,

vindiebaby said...

That must be painful. I hope it will heal well
Vintage Inspired Fashion by Independent Designers for Your Little darling

. said...

Oh no! Poor little poppet.

Sounds like the 'super cool, super Dad' here, we seem to be at the hospital for his "Look at this kids" kind of tricks far too often.

I hope he has a quick recovery and Olive can see that accidents just happen. xx

fast times in m√ľnchen. said...

Oh no! Poor Shane and poor Olive. I hope everyone is back to their normal selves soon. It's amazing how remarkably astute and aware little kids are.

I know she's been through a tough time and I hope this doesn't sound completely insensitive but crikey her little face is so adorable when traumatised. I can't stop looking at it! (Insensitive AND slightly stalkerish!) xx

ps still laughing at Shane and his towel!

Iliska Dreams said...

Must have been scary for Olive, but sorry I am laughing at Shane. What a big boy thing to do, show off only to hurt himself. I hope all heal soon.

Bianca (ivylovesjack) said...

Oww!! That would have damn well hurt!
Ivy went through a crazy emotions after seeing me in hospital when I had my molar pregnancy. We were in NZ and had no one for her to go to, so she was in the emergency room with us at a very scary stage (they thought it was ectopic). She just talked without a breath, not unusual, but the fastest rambling ever. It's nearly two years later and she still remembers it. I hate that she had to be there, but she seemed to deal with it ok and developed a love for doctors and hospitals after it (to the point of being excited about going to get a needle!). It certainly challenges their little world of their all-powerful parents though.
Hope the finger heals well and quickly!

carol : @perennial said...

This sounds bad all round. Times like this we are thrown into the classic mother role of holding it all together. Sounds like you did a great job.

Angela Steyn said...

I just found your blog and I adore it - so beautifully written :)


Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness. How terrible. I hope that you are all able to recover promptly and that sweet little Olive gets back to her old self. Little ones are so impressionable. Poor girl, must have been so scary.

Unknown said...

oh no, i actually teared up at those pics...big hugs all round xxx

Henna | HENNA BLOSSOM BLOG said...

YIKES! So glad all fingers are intact. It's true, it's such a big moment when we realize our parents aren't infallible. Olive is a lucky one to have such sensitive parents! big hugs all around! xo

Unknown said...

What an awful experience for all of you! I hope he recovers quickly.

Megan.K. said...

How frightening for all of you.
You have handled this so well. What a huge thing for little Olive to have seen.
My baby girl was two 1/2 when her big sister was so ill and in hospital last year and it affected her more than all of us in a way. Took a long time for her to feel secure again.
They feel everything so deeply.
Wishing you all big healing thoughts.

p.s Beautiful, gentle photos.

Nell said...

I hope you're all recovering Kellie. Both Olive and Shane. You're such a sweet, understanding Mama - what a lucky family you have with you looking out for them.

The photographs are so tender too.

Much love to you all xx

Unknown said...

Ohhh, poor little Olive - and Shane and you :( But you are such a wonderful, understanding mum - Olive is blessed to have you x


dear olive © All rights reserved · Theme by Blog Milk · Blogger