Birthday Blues

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Dear Olive,
I'm having a bit of a rough week - today is my Mum's birthday. Sometimes it takes me by surprise that the sadness comes so easily on these anniversary days, but I suppose they're the only days I allow the sadness to fill me up and just be. Were she still alive, Mum'd be turning 61 today. I wonder what she'd look like now, maybe she'd be having a party we'd be going to this weekend. One of the things that upsets me the most is that I find it so hard to really imagine any of these things, it scares me that maybe I've forgotten what it was like to have her in my life. I hate that it feels so long ago that she was here.


8 comments:

Two Tuesdays said...

Big love to you xx

Mama Mogantosh said...

Big hugs from over here too. Do you read Little Pinwheel? Hayley has been talking a lot lately about how much she misses her Mum...also, have you heard of the book Motherless Mothers? It's really supposed to be excellent. Having a child is so profound - it seems to bring forth the need to process a mothers death all over again for so many women. Love.xx

zigsma said...

Oh Kellie - sending you love. x

Claire said...

A bit late to comment, not that I really know what to say - just that I'll be thinking of you this week.

I hope today is brighter.
With love x

pigsandbishops said...

I find birthdays the hardest. For me, the anniversary of my father's death can be ignored; it's not a day I ever want to remember. But his birthday is quite hard to get through.

Wishing you strength to get you through.

Randi Gardner said...

just found your blog! What a neat idea! I love the name Olive. It was on our girl list until we realized Olive Gardner wouldnt be very kind (considering the popular american restaurant Olive Garden haha)

Madeleine said...

Kellie....so much love to you xx

Jaclyn said...

catching up on your beautiful blog and just got a bit teary reading your post about your mom, it was beautifully written and I'm sure she knows how much you miss her. x

 

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