Working Mama

Monday, December 13, 2010

Dear Olive,

I'm starting to think about work. I think I need to do something for me that does not revolve around you and your needs. But I'm torn because I want to be the one who cares for you and is here to hold your hand. But on the flip side of that I have ambitions and I loved my job and I want to be a role model for you in that sense too. I sure have a new respect for Mums. What we miss out on by going back to work, what we miss out on by staying at home. For me, my decision is made all the trickier by the fact that the film industry is terribly inflexible and basically inherently unsupportive of a family. Part-time opportunities are rare plus long, crazy hours - I don't want to be away from you like that. But, I want .... something. Perhaps I should try to get any old 9-5 (10-4?) job a couple of days a week to give me a change of pace. Or would I find that boring and unchallenging and wish I were back with you. This is my conundrum. Perhaps it will all become clearer in the new year. Although if I'm perfectly honest, the thought of seeing you off for the day at daycare or with a nanny gives me terrible anxiety. Jeez being a Mum is hard. And oh so wonderful.


Belinda said...

I'm a full time working mama. I have been lucky, my husband has stayed home.
What a beautiful honest post. X

momma j lee ♥ said...

I feel you. I've been torn myself between staying at home longer or going back to work. Ultimately, I've decided I want to do something that will allow me the best of both worlds - with any decision made, something has to give which is the hardest part.

The Franglaise said...

I understand every word you say. It is so hard to go back to work. I had to leave L. when he was not even five months old. It broke my heart. But at the same time, I needed to go back to do something other than being a mummy. Thing is, I have long hours and commuting takes forever so L. is with the child minder 9 hours a day. Hence, I see him only three hours a day during the week. I wish I could afford to work part-time to be able to see my boy more. I am waiting for the new year to see if that is possible... Good luck with your job search my dear. I hope you find the perfect one, allowing you to be a fulfilled career woman and keep blossoming as a mama! xxx

Alex Sunday said...

eek, i guess this is something i'll agonise over sometime in the future. for now though i'll enjoy all the time we have. thanks so much for your congratulations. :) xo


Totally hear your pain - the film industry is so not child friendly. It's just not fair. A 10-4 gig sounds far more manageable though! x

Madeleine said...

I so hear you on this one. We still have to tweak the routine as we go but overall we've found a way to make it all work that's right for us. You'll work out what to do for your lovely little family too, even if it's through trial and error! xx

Marie said...

I totally understand what you mean, it's hard to juggle everything.
Here in the US, maternity leave sucks and I had to go back to work when O was only 3 months old. It broke my heart but now it's becoming easier (a bit) as I see how good daycare has been for him. He's 19 months old now and he's so excited to see his little friends in the morning, it makes it much easier for me. They do tons of stuff and play together all day. He's become a bit of a social butterfly :) Our routine is madness most of the time but everybody looks happy :) You'll find your own pace xx

Rachael @Mogantosh said...

No simple answer to this one is there. And the film biz is a tough one- so family unfriendly, for the most part.

For what its worth, my theory is that you should - budget and circumstances permitting - aim for the situation that will make you feel happiest. If you feel good, that will roll on to enrich and nurture your family life. If you feel resentful or like you're doing what some outside influencer thinks you should, then the everyday grunt work of managing life as a mum and partner can be overwhelming.

Nobody is happy all the time of course, barring the lunatic or over-medicated, but I find that really trying to value my own happiness feeds me to look after others.

Merry Christmas!


mute said...

That gorgeous little hand!!! So cute kelbags


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