Dear Olive,
The clock in the sunroom has stopped. It's stuck on 1:26. Which is really rather symbolic of how I feel about my life at the moment. How did everything get so far along, when I feel like I haven't moved? Surely my own clock stopped somewhere along the line, and I've still got my whole life ahead of me? Sometimes lately I find myself gripped by a deep sense of panic that I'm running out of time. Running out of time to make more money, running out of time to make more babies, running out of time to, well, make my life more amazing. And it's a very unpleasant feeling. The only thing to do is to get on with it, I guess. (And put new batteries in the clock.)
The clock in the sunroom has stopped. It's stuck on 1:26. Which is really rather symbolic of how I feel about my life at the moment. How did everything get so far along, when I feel like I haven't moved? Surely my own clock stopped somewhere along the line, and I've still got my whole life ahead of me? Sometimes lately I find myself gripped by a deep sense of panic that I'm running out of time. Running out of time to make more money, running out of time to make more babies, running out of time to, well, make my life more amazing. And it's a very unpleasant feeling. The only thing to do is to get on with it, I guess. (And put new batteries in the clock.)
22 comments:
sometimes batteries help. a lot. & sometimes they are useless. (however, i know the feeling)
Our clock stopped at 11:09 about six months ago and i really like it. People always sleep over and then assume they slept in, or stay for dinner and say "oh! is that the time?"
I know that rushing feeling. when i get it I tell myself that time is an abstract concept invented by humans to make sense of the world.. and then I think about enjoying the right now, because that's all that's certain for now. I don't do so well when I feel rushed.. x
It's a horrible gripping feeling. If it's any consolation I think you've achieved a lot and you have a lot more in you.
I know the feeling. Feeling it with you My Dear.
New batteries is a good place to start :)
Claire x
http://blog.scissorspaperrockdesigns.com.au/
OMG I love this!!! i so need new batteries, i so know that panic, 45 looms and everybody (including my husband) is telling me i am too old for more babies! (insert sobbing here!) and i am not awesome and my life is only surviving the day at the moment and there is 50 on the horizon waving! crap!!! so i love this post, perhaps just some new batteries are needed, perhaps today is the day, perhaps this post is my new day and inspiration! i love this post xxxxxx
Make a list and go for it. Be a doer!! :-) x
Throw the clock out and just do things in your own time frame. When things feel right. But having said that I am freaking out about running out of time to do things. I have never bother about what ever age I am, I am just scared that each year that passes is a year lost. Lost? So I can do all of the stuff that I want/need to do.
http://iliska-dreams.blogspot.com.au/
A timely post, really echoed how I have been feeling. Dxxx
There is always time for more babies, don't you worry! :) Also, moments wouldn't be worth cherishing if time didn't pass so rapidly... don't you think? I guess the idea is that even though it's bittersweet it's all worth it in the end. The outcome is usually so satisfying when the journey was long and arduous.
Yep, it is shit isn't it. Hug.
Oh I know what you mean. I keep affirming there is time and space for all I want to do/create/be. It helps! xx
It's scary isn't it!
Ive been feeling the same way lately. Im hoping to find a new stride soon! Postive thoughts your way:)
I can relate, it's hard sometimes, managing your expectations on one hand and the reality of life on the other. And time just vanishes so easily. I think you just have to do what you can and appreciate the little things that are good and right. x
Oh, totally get where you are coming from. I wonder if that feeling ever leaves, or is it just part of life? B x
Yes. Yes indeed.
I find it a motivating force one moment + paralysing the next. I have concluded that no amount of red wine dulls it!
x
I too feel as though these days are flying by, that I'm not somehow making the most of my time...
...I know. Feel a little the same at times...x
(Scanning your shelves for a book recommendation...in case I find the time to read something ;) x
You do make rather cute babies!! Perhaps start with that one :)
It is a tricky one but I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes I worry that I over think things and want too much! That feeling of not knowing what the future holds is so exciting but can be so overwhelming at the sametime. I agree, changing the batteries is a good start. Trying to live in the present can be helpful too - although I am not always good at that either. Regardless, I reckon Olive has it going on. Looks like she has a fabulous little existence to me! :) Kate.
David told me this was his favourite Dear Olive post ever. I feel like this too. Petrified of going back to Sydney with no career to speak of and a degree to finish. Though, I think you've had a pretty amazing life so far. xx
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